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Mar. 20th, 2007



So, last week, Pastor Daniel, who was one of the pastors of Faith but wasn't full time because he had other indo-canadian ministries going on, asked Sharon to help lead worship on Sunday because they only have one worship team and they can't possibly do it every week. Sharon agreed, and I agreed to help with the PowerPoint again, and then on Sunday, my parents came to because they had things to discuss with Pastor Daniel. Apparently, they want us to move our service time back to the morning so we can join the two English congregations so pray about that because I still can't decide which would be healthiest and best for the church....but it's not for me to decide anyways.

Well, on Sunday, when we were there...Pastor Daniel kept thanking us (the Chan family) for coming and helping them to do this. And...not only that...but afterwards, one of the ladies approached me and thanked me for helping. And then when she thanked Sharon, she started getting teary, and tried to hold it back but then she just started crying. It was so sad to see but I think I completely understood those tears. She's been at this church since it started, I think...so it must really hurt her to see it go through something like this. I think I've experienced the same kind of tears...but it made me glad that we were able to serve in that way and start the process of healing that wound.

The guest speaker who spoke on Sunday really gave us a really applicable message too. I think he knew the situation so he chose to speak on that. But it was about not looking at the good times of the past and wishing for the future, but to focus on the present. We can be thankful for the past and the blessings the church had back then...but if we're hit with a fall, we can't just focus our eyes on the past and be wistful. I think it probably spoke to everyone and was much needed...including for me.

I had just been contemplating last week about how I never have a strong stable fellowship to be a part of. I look at the fellowships of my past, the church in Windsor...seeing all my friends having so much fun and growing together...and I asked God why I couldn't just stay there and experience that? But of course, I wouldn't trade coming here for anything in the world because I love what I have here and everything here is a blessing from God. But I was doing just what the pastor spoke about...wishing for the past. I really need to look at what's happening now...and work to build it up again. I'm twenty now...and I really haven't had a stable fellowship that I can call a second family that's been with me for years. I really do envy people who have that. But I need to trust God that he's put me in the place that He wants me to be to bring Him glory. And all I have to do is trust and obey.

Mar. 14th, 2007



So my Bible reading has been going okay. It's not daily yet, but I am reading it whenever I can like on the bus. But it has been going well for me spiritually. It's really amazing how much of what you read on THAT day or that time really applies to what's happening.

You guys probably don't know this yet, but Faith church has really fallen apart. A year after the Snider's left, our council chairman and his family left too...and he was a worship leader too, and his daughter also came to FF, so them leaving was pretty significant and affected all areas of the church (his wife was a Sunday school teacher too). Because they left, another young family also left because their kids are super close friends and they've been friends their whole life. That happened at the first annual general meeting.

Then, a second one rolled around, and Pastor Darcy announced that he was handing in his resignation and then a whole bunch of people left after that. Seriously, I was told that there was only 3 Caucasians and the rest were Filipino, or East Indian, or of some Asian descent...and there was about, 20 of them that Sunday after the second general meeting.

While all this was going on, I had stopped going to Faith because I had been working on projects and meeting with my team in Surrey. Actually, the last time I went, was the time that I posted in here...because the guest speaker has spurred me to start reading the entire Bible, and I did.

The week when I found out that Pastor Darcy left and that the church basically fell apart, I was reading 1 Corinthians and it was the chapter about the church and the body. How when one part leaves, the body no longer functions well. I couldn't help to think about the fact that I stopped going and all these things happened...and that all these members left and that just caused more and more people to go. I don't think that I was a great impact on the church falling, but probably as just a pinky or something, I had fallen off and it affected the church somehow. I'm sure if I was still there, I think the same things would have still happened...but it did really make me realize or see that verse in its entirety because of everything that's happened. Now, I don't know what to do about continuing to be the leader of FF...right now it's basically Aaron, his two friends, and the Indonesian kids...and not all of them always come either. And I've been so busy that I've even had to cancel last minute a couple of times already.

But I think I left for more reasons than busyness. I could already feel that the church was not a healthy place. For months, Pastor Darcy's sermons really did not sink into me and I was getting tired from having to do Saturday Night, prepare for worship, and then always having to do PowerPoint every single week. I learned from that experience that if you tire yourself or anyone out in service, it will just make them step back, or leave altogether. The church didn't have a Sunday school or anything for the young adults. They had prayer meetings but I couldn't make it to those. So I started looking for other means like BSF, and then when my parents started the English congregation at Canaan, I was really starting to finally learn and pay attention in those services. I know church isn't about taking and receiving...but I was at the point where I was giving and giving and not intaking anything at the same time. I knew to avoid that, but there seemed no way out of doing it every Sunday. It wasn't until my parents needed my help with Canaan that I was able to use that as an "excuse" to not go often, and then group meetings started and I stopped going altogether.

Anyways, I'm just rambling now. Point of entry, read your Bible everyday. It's good for you. haha

Jan. 28th, 2007


A New Start

Ha. I want to laugh...how many of these new starts, beginnings, or whatever posts have I had over these past few years? It's really quite sad...but we have such an ever patient Father that I have the confidence in saying that I can and will keep going this time, and not fall short and away time and time again.

I've decided to try to read the entire Bible again. And I think I know how I'm going to change it this time. For the past couple of years, I always thought that writing things down and keeping it on record was the best way to do devotions. But then, that usually got me less motivated because it did require extra "work". And I think, if there was really some remarkable revelation that I wanted to make sure I'd remember...well, if it is something that is revolutionary and God wants me to remember it, then I will. I will still make occasional posts on certain things but by no means will I try to do what I did on this blog in particular...which was write about everything that I read. At that point they just turned into Bible study lessons and I eventually got tired of thinking that way. Sure, they made me reflect on my life, but I always wrote them with other people in mind too. And my devotions really need to be time that is spent with God alone, without thought of what others will get out of it or how others will learn from what I learn. But just purely, what is God saying to me now through His word.

So, I'm not going to start from any particular beginning like Genesis or Matthews. Because I've already read Genesis through Exodus, and Matthews through Romans, I think I want to start somewhere new. I've decided on 1st Corinthians and then seeing where it goes from there. And from there, I'm just going to read, and meditate, and pray. No writing. No distractions.

These past two months with looking for a job has really opened my eyes as to how far I've fallen in terms of trusting in God. For everything that I've applied to, I tried to depend on my own strength and abilities. But each time, God shut that door. Now with the prospect of Blacks Photography, it really does look like God's hand is moving in this. So with that observance, I'm just going to not worry about it, and trust that whatever happens is God's will. I know this is a test of faith. Of trust. Of breaking down my own pride...so, I want to be able to pass this. Even if I don't get that job, I know that it is because God doesn't want me there. Maybe he wants me to focus on other things instead of making money. Maybe when I finally fully rely and trust in him for a job, he will grant that. But it doesn't matter what the maybes are. All I know that I have to do right now, is to trust in Him. To not worry, to not be afraid, to not try to take control, but to give it completely to Him.

Jan. 7th, 2006


John 1:19-28

Wow it's been a long day...and I missed a day of devotions because I meant to wake up early to do it but...change of plans when we got a certain phone call....anyways...continuing on...

John the Baptist Denies Being the Christ
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One key thing that sticks out to me in this passage is the humility of John. When the priests asked him about himself, he would always turn the answer around back to Christ...continually focusing on his purpose and why God placed him there. He identifies himself as one sent by God and not just merely as an individual.

Another thing to note is the attitude of the priests or jews that came to question him. Note how they were sent to question John by probably the Pharisees. It shows that those great leaders and priests are not personally concerned with the matters of God but could hardly bother so they sent others to see to it. Not only that, but the ones who are sent sound impatient...asking John and then almost demanding a quick answer so they can take it back to those who sent them. But that's not how our relationship with Christ should be and definately should not be the attitude of a spiritual leader. The things we teach and the lessons we give should also apply to ourselves and have a personal and deep meaning to our hearts instead of just being a robot that spits out lessons that we've only just read and not applied.

Jan. 5th, 2006


John 1:14-18

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I noticed in verse 10 that it doesn't specifically state that Christ had come in human form...but that he was "in the world". I think this prologue section shows four stages of Christ. Christ in the beginning, before creation. Christ during creation, having everything created through Him. Christ with the people on earth...like with the children of Isreal as the burning bush, the pillar of fire, etc.. And then finally, as a human in the form of Jesus Christ dwelling among us.

"Full of grace and truth"...something else that I think should be focused on. Jesus didn't just give us grace and truth...but he was full of grace and truth. He was just...bursting with it! Because his testimony, and his sacrifice, was the epitome of grace and truth itself. He's the grace because his very existence, and even the fact that he was there in the first place, is grace. God didn't have to come down on earth to redeem us. And we definately didn't deserve it. So the very fact that he was even there. Jesus is the truth because of who he is. He is God, the true and living God....and the only way to salvation.

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Verse 17, about Moses' law and the covenant that God had with the people of Israel where a sacrifice was required. After Christ, those sacrifices are no longer needed, or even required or beneficial because Jesus paid the price as the ultimate sacrifice for everyone.

I had always wondered what God looked like...and I'm sure many others have with renditions of him with a great white beard, too great and tall for us to actually see his face. Or just as a cloud. I have kind of always imagined God as light. Just a radiating beam...or that's kinda what I imagined as all I would be able to see...just pure light. But Christ made the invisible God, visible, through the humble form of Jesus as a man =)

Jan. 4th, 2006


John 1:10-13

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When somebody creates something, the creation automatically belongs to them. It's like how we all take credit for the things we make and in our built in justice system, we fully believe that those things belong to ourself because we have created it. Because we are made through Christ, we are His, and rightfully belong to Him. But many people do not recognize this. They believe that they are their own god or some other idol is their god. They believe in evolution and that they came to earth by chance, with no purpose at all because it was all an "accident" anyways.

When you create something, you also feel this immediate sense of care, love, and protection for it. It's like how I sculpted that dolphin out of soap stone...and I worked so hard on it and after I finished, I was so proud of it because it turned out so nicely. After that, I kept it wrapped in a towel, then moved it to my bookcase to display, and I never let anyone touch it for fear of scratching or dropping it. It has become one of my most prized possessions even though it just sits there. It doesn't do anything for me really, but just knowing that it's there and that I formed it makes me happy and I never want to see it in a million pieces.

It's kind of the same with God but slightly different. We can't really DO anything FOR God either. God is God, and he doesn't really need anything because He's God. But because He created us and loves us, he wants to care for us, to protect us, to spend time with us, and to love us.

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I have wondered before why God didn't just let everyone go to Heaven...I mean, wouldn't that have given Him the greatest joy? To see all of his creation in his own home. But then I learned that God is just and so, he must also abide by his own rules because then, wouldn't that make Him the greatest hypocrite? If he commanded us to make laws, and to punish those who broke them, but then turned a blind eye to the spiritual laws...I mean, that would just completely not be in the character of God. So in order for God to have a loving relationship with us and in order for us to live eternally with him, He had to first redeem us...and find a replacement, a redeemer, to take the consequences of the sins in our lives. And what better person than God himself, as Jesus Christ. And so, rightfully by spiritual laws, those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

I have the security of being a child of God. Of being an heir to heavenly riches and an eternal life in paradise =) Do you?~

Jan. 3rd, 2006


John 1:9

The Word Became Flesh

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I vaguely remember the first time I read this verse, I think it was back in the devotional that taught me the gift of Salvation where they instructed us to just replace the word, 'Word', with Jesus and it made this verse so much more understandable :P hehe In my NLT version, this section is titled, Christ, the Eternal Word, and I had always found it strange that Jesus would be referred to as the Word...but after studying Genesis in BSF, I see why Jesus would be called the Word because as verse 3 states, Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

With mere words, Jesus created the sun, the moon, and the stars...the earth, sea, land, animans, and us.  His word is THAT powerful...it has the power to create...the power to drive out demons and at the same time, create miracles. 

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Everyone who knows me well knows that my favourite metaphor for Christ is light.  And one of the sole reasons why I love the symbolism of light is that it shines and reveals darkness.  Jesus came and gave us light...he showed us love...he demonstrated it on the cross.  But many do not understand the significance of the sacrifice that he made.  Just as John states, he shone...he radiated throughout the world...but few understood...and many rejected.

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I think verse 7 not only talks about John, but also us as born again witnesses of Christ. We are called just to do what John was called to do. We are sent from God as witnesses to testify Christ. We also testify of his coming like John did except now it is Christ's second coming. Verse 8 states that John himself was that the light, just as we ourselves cannot save the world. We are witnesses so that Christ's light, love, and salvation may be testified to everyone.

Alright, it's really late now but I just had to do this before I went to bed! Satan has pushed me to put it off enough so I wasn't letting him have it this time! Yay I love realizing new things in passages that I've read over all my life...hehe it's awesome. Okay off to bed!

Jan. 2nd, 2006


AHHH! Okay, change of plans.......

Okay...so my tomorrow has lasted about two weeks x.x it's horrible! I think it's because I never gave the link out which...results in not having enough motivation with no accountability T.T

So I made it my new years' resolution...and missed the first day x.x what a bad start...

Okay, there's been a change of plans though...I've decided not to do Proverbs...but instead, chose John! My reasons would be...I want to focus on Jesus more than just...words from the wise...hehe and also because it will supplement and coordinate with my Matthew Bible studies with FF.

Okay...so the next post will be John 1! yay!

Dec. 11th, 2005


My Goal

After too long of neglecting my devotions, I decided to set up a blog/journal where I can record my daily bible studies. They will be written in sort of a format where I'm teaching...or giving a bible study lesson because I realized that I get the most out of a passage when I'm preparing a bible study for my preteen fellowship, Faithful F.I.R.E. and since I always use my laptop to type up my lesson notes, I decided that I can do this here! With everyone keeping me accountable to make sure I do my devotions every single day!  

Awesome plan eh?  Haha I'm excited!  I've decided to start in Proverbs...the wise words of Solomooon.  Since I'm studying Genesis for BSF and Matthew for FF, Job for RR, and Hosea for FF Leaders' meeting, I decided to do something far off from those books and so Proverbs it is!

Okay I will start...tonight or tomorrow! XD lol maybe tomorrow...see, the good thing is my schedule for next semester will be awesome for doing devotions cause I won't have to leave the house till noon!  

Okay pray for me!  And that this will really help me to build some discipline and hopefully eventually I may not need to do something like this~

Haha you can read it as a daily devotional too if you want! XD haha and add input since I have comments enabled...but you don't have to~ haha this is really for me and God.  But if you get something out of it too, that'll be just as awesome =D

March 2007



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